(Many
of these joke have not yet been rated.)
AND
APHORISMS
Hay aves que cruzan el pantano y no se manchan. Mi plumaje es de esos. Salvador
Santos Chocan

"At times to be silent is to lie. You will win because you have enough
brute force. But you will not convince. For to convince you need to
persuade. And in order to persuade you would need what you lack: Reason
and Right." Unamuno in a confrontation with fascist General Milan-Astray
at the University of Salamanca on October 12, 1936. Milan-Astray shouted
in reply, "Death to intelligence! And long live Death!" whereupon he
drove the elderly Unamuno out of the university at gunpoint. Writer
and independent thinker, original mind and rector of the University
of Salamanca, Unamuno consequently suffered a heart attack and was dead
within a week. 
EN EL TIEMPO DE GUERRA CUALQUIER HOYO ES TRINCHERA. 
LIFE'S PRINCIPLE AXIOM IS THAT YOUR INSTINCT IS TO PERPETUATE YOURSELF----TO
BE. PERPETUATION INCLUDES IN ADDITION TO YOUR FINITE LIFE THE EXTENSION
OF YOUR MEMORY AND INFLUENCE AFTER YOUR DEATH. A HERO IS PERPETUATED
BY HIS GLORIFICATION, OR MORE PROFOUNDLY, THE PRESERVATION OF HIS SOCIETY.
ESPINOZA
"I wish to propose for the reader's favorable consideration a doctrine
which may, I fear, appear wildly paradoxical and subversive. The doctrine
in question is this: that it is undesirable to believe a proposition
when there is no ground whatever for supposing it true." BERTRAND RUSSELL
("The Study of Mathematics")
And for a nice, sobering contrast (albeit non-contradictory) try:
"The secret of happiness is to face the fact that the world is horrible,
horrible, horrible...." BERTRAND RUSSELL 
"all
revolutions degenerate into governments"-Octavio Paz
A man's women folk, whatever their out ward show of respect for his
merit and authority, always regard him secretly as an ass, and with
something akin to pity, His most gaudy sayings and doings seldom deceive
them; they see the actual man within, and know him for a shallow and
pathetic fellow. In this fact, perhaps, lies one of the best proofs
of feminine intelligence, or as the common phase makes it, feminine
intuition. Menken. 
“The whole aim of practical politics”, said H.L. Mencken, “is to keep
the populace alarmed—and hence clamorous to be led to safety—by menacing
it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.” Mencken

"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be
happy; if not,you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates (470-399 B.C.)
The
value of philosophy is, in fact, to be sought largely in its very uncertainty.
The man who has no tincture of philosophy goes through life imprisoned
in the prejudices derived from common sense, from the habitual beliefs
of his age or his nation, and from convictions which have grown up in
his mind without the co-operation or consent of his deliberate reason.
To such a man the world tends to become definite, finite, obvious; common
objects rouse no questions, and unfamiliar possibilities are contemptuously
rejected. As soon as we begin to philosophize, on the contrary, we find...
that even the most everyday things lead to problems to which only very
incomplete answers can be given. Philosophy, though unable to tell us
with certainty what is the true answer to the doubts it raises, is able
to suggest many possibilities which enlarge our thoughts and free them
from the tyranny of custom. Thus, while diminishing our feeling of certainty
as to what things are, it greatly increases our knowledge as to what
they may be; it removes the somewhat arrogant dogmatism of those who
have never traveled into the region of liberating doubt, and it keeps
alive our sense of wonder by showing familiar things in an unfamiliar
aspect. RUSSELL
That the right use of reason is "that by which the most wholesome faith
is begotten . . . is nourished, defended, and made strong" St. Thomas
Aquinas.
Even if the open windows of science makes us shiver after the cosy indoor
warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings
vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own. Bertrand Russell.

La economía es algo demasiado importante como para dejarla en manos
de los economistas.
"Not until the United States built its space-shuttle facilities at Cape
Canaveral, Florida, did America see any structures more massive than
the pyramids of Cholula and Teotihuacan" -- J. Weatherford, Indian Givers

Quite naturally, the argument here is: while Mexico, a country capitalizing
on its geographic position and God-given resources, may be supplying
the commodities in question,[Canibus] the United States is doing virtually
nothing to attenuate demand. Madsen 
Many wealthy people escaped military service in the Civil War by paying
$300 to a substitute. John D. Rockefeller, Andrew Carnegie, Philip Armour,
Jay Gould, and James Mellon. Mellon's father had written to him that
"a man may be a patriot without risking his own life or sacrificing
his health. There are plenty to lives less valuable."-Zinn-The People's
History 
In the case of those we seek to honor, their sacrifice was the ultimate
a citizen may do for his or her country: their life. Out of a total
of 3,427 medals granted by the U.S. Congress, 38 have been given to
citizens of Latino ancestry, making Latinos the largest single ethnic
group, in proportion to the number who served, to earn this prestigious
award.
The
just man is scourged, racked, thrown into prison, blinded in both eyes,
and finally, when he has endured all ills, he is executed, and he recognises
that one should be determined not to be just but to appear so.-Plato's
Republic.-
"THE
CANON OF MEDICINE",is the most famous single book in the history of
medicine in both East and West.-Avicenna-

"CERTAIN
LIVING CREATURES WHICH THE EYE CANNOT FOLLOW...PASS BY THE AIR THROUGH
THE MOUTH AND NOSE INTO THE BODY, AND SET UP GRIEVOUS DISEASES.-Marcus
Varro, 27 B.C.E.-

Aryabhata, in 499 wrote the astronomy text Siddhanta which taught
that the apparent rotation of the heavens was due to the axial rotation
of the Earth. The work is written in 121 stanzas. It gives a quite
remarkable view of the nature of the solar system.
His point was that he could not support a government that endorsed
slavery and waged an imperialist war against Mexico. His defense of
the private, individual conscience against the expediency of the majority
found expression in his most famous essay, "Civil Disobedience," which
was first published in May 1849 under the title "Resistance to Civil
Government." - Thoreau, Henry David-

Carl Gustaf Jung, the psychiatrist, wrote of him that "We see in Paracelsus
not only a pioneer in the domains of chemical medicine, but also in
those of an empirical psychological healing science." 16th century.

Humans are most closely realted to the great apes (gorillas and chimpanzess)
with whom we share approximately 98% of our genetic code or DNA.
According to Locke, what we know is always properly understood as
the relation between ideas, and he devoted much of the Essay to
an extended argument that all of our ideas--simple or complex--are
ultimately derived from experience. The consequence of this empiricist
approach is that the knowledge of which we are capable is severely
limited in its scope and certainty. Our knowledge of material substances,
for example, depends heavily on the secondary qualities by reference
to which we name them, while their real inner natures derive from
the primary qualities of their insensible parts. Nevertheless, Locke
held that we have no grounds for complaint about the limitations
of our knowledge, since a proper application of our cognitive capacities
is enough to guide our action in the practical conduct of life.
(1690)
a priori / a posteriori-- Distinction among judgments, propositions,
ideas, arguments, or kinds of knowledge. In each case, the a priori
is taken to be independent of experience, which the a posteriori presupposes.
An a priori argument, then, is taken to reason deductively from abstract
general premises, while an a posteriori argument relies upon specific
information derived from sense perception. The necessary truth of
an a priori proposition can be determined by reason alone, but the
contingent truth of an a posteriori proposition can be discovered
only by reference to some matter of fact. Thus, for example:
"3 + 4 = 7." is known a priori.
"Chicago is on Lake Michigan." is known a posteriori.
Rationalists typically emphasize the importance of a priori ideas and arguments as the foundation of all knowledge. Kant held that synthetic a priori judgments are preconditions of experience and form the basis for mathematics and science.
Empiricists, on the other hand, usually hold that all a priori propositions are merely analytic, so that we must rely on a posteriori propositions for significant knowledge of the world. Kripke challenges even the identification of this distinction with that between the necessary and the contingent.
rationalism.- Reliance on reason {Lat. ratio} as the only reliable
source of human knowledge. More specifically, rationalism is the
epistemological theory that significant knowledge of the world can
best be achieved by a priori means. Prominent rationalists of the
modern period include Descartes, Spinoza, and Leibniz.
empiricism.- Reliance on experience as the source of ideas and knowledge.
More specifically, empiricism is the epistemological theory that
genuine information about the world must be acquired by a posteriori
means, so that nothing can be thought without first being sensed.
Prominent modern empiricists include Bacon, Locke, Berkeley, Hume,
and Mill.
Anaximander (d. 547 BCE)-- Presocratic philosopher. Examination
of fossil evidence persuaded Anaximander that living beings develop
from simpler to more complex forms over time.[Pre-Darwin?]
"There
is a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes
you so sick at heart, that you can't take part; and you've got to put
your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon
all the apparatus and you've got to make it stop."